Cato Manor!

Wow!

There are no words to perfectly describe how I feel about my homestay.  I’m filled with overwhelming happiness, surprises, and a few disappointments. 

Originally I was told I was going to be living with a mama her 3 sons and a 15-year-old granddaughter. That is not the case at all!

We arrived at the schoolyard in Cato Manor where we were all communally meeting our homestay mamas and few other members of the family. I was in the second group because the van couldn’t fit all of us so as we were pulling up a wave of nervousness rushed through me as I watched other people meeting their families! We pull up and right as we open the door kids from every direction just run up and hug all of us!! Little boys left and right were tugging at me and jumping on me and kissing me and girls were all over me playing with my hair and touching my face and telling me I was so pretty.  It was probably the greatest welcome I have ever received.

Within minutes, Thula, the guy who drives us EVERYWHERE, poor man, grabs my arm to lead me to my mama! A short, plump, adorable woman in a purple top and black skirt envelopes me in her warm body and immediately makes me feel right at home. She grabs my face and shows me to her friends and laughs at my terrible Zulu. It was magical.  I get her a drink and she says I need to get used to it because she is lazy and wants me to make tea for her at the house. She is probably the funniest woman in the whole world. She thinks I’m incredibly athletic…..which I’ve never heard from anybody except my biological mother who also must not understand the meaning of the word “athletic”.

So as we drive home, I’m imagining the small hut this woman must live in with her 3 sons and granddaughter, but we drive up to an adorable little place that houses her, 2 sons, and her 2 year old grandson! The daughter had apparently left which I was a little disappointed about.  We go inside and mama tells me I can do anything I want, I don’t ever need to ask her for anything. If I want a banana, I eat a banana. If I want to sleep, I go to sleep. If I want to bathe, I go bathe.  Obviously I just kept asking her if I could do all of these things because it seemed polite and every time she would just laugh at me and tell me to do whatever I wanted.

That first night mama told me all about herself.  Her husband died in 1996 and she will never be with another man because he is the only man she’ll ever love.  She has Jesus to keep her company and REALLY wants me to have Jesus too…we’ll see.  She goes to community meetings to better her community and is part of a women empowerment group that meets every Monday.

She is so happy to finally have a daughter.  She has 5 sons and told me all of her other homestay students were rude and afraid of germs so she loves me so much and I’m her favorite.  Not only am I her favorite; I am also clever, smart, pretty, funny, and kind. Mama showers with me complements every time I walk into a room. “Sawubona beautiful! Did you make your bed? I didn’t even show you how you did it right. You see?! You’re so clever!”

Mama makes us dinner every single night and there is definitely enough to go around.  I have learned never to let mama make my plate for me because she is far too generous with her portions.  In this culture, it is not ok to not finish the food on your plate because it is wasteful and can really offend someone.  So, on the first night when mama dished me a gigantic mountain of rice topped with chicken and pumpkin, I had to suck it up and eat it. On the bright side it was delicious, but it was awful when I wasn’t hungry at all even by morning for the eggs that mama made me…..obviously had to eat those too.  I now make my own plates and my own breakfast because mama has shown me the ropes and now I serve her and make her tea.

She is mama and I am mami.  I’m purposefully not spelling it “mommy” because I don’t think that’s what it means to her when she calls me that.  We wake up in the morning and make breakfast together and feed Andile, the adorable 2 year old boy who mama is convinced is depressed and needs to see a healer.  He is not depressed.  I got him to smile and dance within one hour of being here.  He just needs some energetic attention.  He has a tired grandma and a father who does not speak. 

Oh yes, the sons.  One of them literally does not speak.  Mama makes fun of him and gets so frustrated because she loves to talk and he barely responds.  That’s why she loves me so much, because I’m a chatter box and, as my biological mother would say, a blurter. So we have a fabulous time together.  Talking and laughing. The other son is barely around so I don’t see him much.  He’s supposed to build me a dresser but I’ve given up hope that it will actually happen.

The house is small and cute and has all the essentials one would need.  Not the essentials that an average Tulane or PV girl would think of.  But really just essentials.  A small kitchen with a stove a sink and fridge.  A living room with basic cable.  3 small bedrooms. A room with a toilet and another room with a bath.

If you noticed before when I said bath instead of shower, it’s because we don’t have a shower.  We have a bathtub that you can fill with a little bit of water and buckets to fill to rinse so you conserve water.  First you must scrub the bathtub because it is probably dirty, and then boil water in a kettle to mix with some lukewarm water to make a bucket full of hot water to rinse off with.  Let me tell you.  I feel clean as a whistle.  And I definitely take longer showers than it takes me to complete this process.  I definitely did not ace this test on my first try though.  I ended up putting far too much shampoo in my hair and mama had to boil me more water than she intended…mama was not happy.  Also, for those of you who know me, I shed like a Labrador.  So even after trying as hard as humanly possible to gather all my hair from the tub, mama told me to go back and make sure it was all gone. 

I’ll get better.  It was actually kind of fun.  And I felt so good using such little water to bathe. Even if I did use an extra bucket and a half of water.

Last night, a few of us decided to go for a little walk around the neighborhood.  Mama was at her women empowerment meeting so I decided it was a good idea.  Alie, Casey, Angela, and I walked with Alie's host sister Thando and she showed us around.  It was incredible! Kids as young as 9 years old were out and about on their own at 7 at night.  We talked to young children, met with some others our age, and hung out at the sport court where we ended up running into David, Janelle, Ellie, and Nina who were playing soccer with their host siblings! It was so awesome.  Thando was such an incredible girl and she showed us the ropes of the neighborhood.  I made it home safe and sound to a lovely greeting from mama. 

Although I was slightly disappointed in my lack of siblings, or ones who speak,  I love Andile the baby, and I could not be more happy with my mama.  Also there are 5 kids next door! So if I ever need some children lovin, I can always go over there and then lock myself in my house when I’ve had enough limbs yanked and twisted.

 So by Day 2 I feel very comfortable.  I go in the fridge whenever I want an apple and I make tea if I want tea.  I feel so blessed to spend this time with such a wonderful woman and learn about the simple yet challenging life she lives. One short month is not enough time here, but I will definitely cherish it, and do everything I can to make mama’s life a little easier.

All this mama talk really makes me miss my real mama :( but at least she knows I’m in good hands for the time being.

Ok it’s 9 pm, way past my African bedtime.

Sala Kahle!

Some pictures of my mama and Andile!